"the only true ism is communism...."

On Wednesdays, after my psych rotation i drive home and get straight into my bed. i just realized today this is my Wednesday afternoon ritual...straight from the mental hospital into bed. i think its because my bed is where I process stuff.
Wednesday mornings; always the same too. I lay here, slowly coaxing myself out of bed. Small goals: just get to the shower; just get to the kitchen, and so on. I realize, right now, as I type this I secretly have been loathing my Wednesday psych rotation. But really that usually ends as soon as I get there and begin mingling with the patients, and then I slowly realize the only difference between myself and many of them is I have the keys to leave at the end of the day.
Today, as I spent time with my patient, I watched that dance one does on the border between genius and psychotic. He's bipolar, and is in the middle of a manic episode. Young, well educated, extremely articulate, creative, and at times even profound. He carries one of those composition notebooks, like John Nash, and wears wing-tipped shoes. Not all the patients get to wear shoes so this sets him apart. Today he said many things to me, I said very little to him, as it goes with manic patients. But he said this, "It is the pursuit of a deeper truth that leads a man to insanity." Can I argue with that? No, I can't. Instead I asked if he wanted some lemonade and reminded him to breath. (I had to remind him of this a lot, throughout the day). I left the day with a list of books he wants me to read as well as the name of a philosopher. And he told me I'd make a good nurse because I "kept him breathing".
Maybe Wednesdays are difficult because, at times I see myself in some of those patients. And that’s scary, because society has deemed them unfit. At times we all do that dance on the border I guess.