Swimming Upside Down

Today I awoke early. The day was hot, but promising. I talked myself out of church...and then as always, in the late afternoon began to mourn my faith, my convictions, my religion, one might say. Read Jane Eyre most of the day. Overall, I had a splendid Sunday, devoid of internal anxiety. Went and saw a film on the big screen, listened to a little Dylan, did some grocery shopping. Read more. Now, the sun is beginning to set. I am considering a walk before it disappears, because with the night comes the shady characters lurking in the murky corners of the neighborhood. I am in a strange mood. Lying in bed, watching Eleanor Rigby, she is swimming upside down. I noticed this a few weeks ago and had fearful thoughts that maybe the fateful name I had chosen for her was now coming to fruition. I went online a Googled "fish diseases"...you would be surprised how much literature there is on the subject. I was. So I've been watching her keenly the last couple of weeks...her eating habits have not changed, her color is not altered...she is just swimming upside down on occasion. Weird? Yes, most certainly. A sign of death? I think: No. It makes me love her all the more.

"We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread out before us; and it is in the un-clouded night sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence." -Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre.