Someone asked me the other day how many jobs I've had. I laughed. and it occurred to me it's all beginning to blur, I had to start lying on my resumes a few years ago, because for some crazy reason employers don't like to see you've jumped three state and had 4 jobs in the last 12 months. So I would only put the ones that "looked good". So here it is (more for my own personal enjoyment) the unedited resume of Rosie Piacentini. We shall call it :
Toil, Toil, Toil; a thousand ways to make a buck: (in order of occurrence):
Village Patio; Big Bear.:Ice Cream Scooper. I still remember the price for a single scoop. $1.50 ($1.62 after tax)
Alpine Country Cafe; Big Bear: Waitress (we were waitresses back then, not "servers"). I can still remember what three of the counter regulars would order and on what day of the week they would do so.
Pine summit Camp; Big Bear: Food Server, Recreations Leader, Student Nurse, Camp Counselor, Receptionist, Ropes Coarse Instructor. I was a jerk of all trades. Pine Summit has been the faithful mistress of all my jobs. I could always go back to her.
The Coffee House; Big Bear: Counter Help. I met and made a ham sandwich for Ione Sky during this employment. Radical.
BlueSkies Real Estate; Big Bear: House Cleaner: Blue 6 to Blue 4 (Amber will get that)
Crown Bookstore; Costa Mesa: Sales Associate, Night Shift Manger. We went out of business...you want to know why? Because we only sold books. There was no coffee on the premises, and apparently people can't purchase books if there is no coffee involved.
Big City Bagels; Newport Beach: No explanation needed. Our nickname at the time for this place was "The Bagel Bastards"
Northwoods Resort; Big Bear: Hotel Operator: By the time I left this job I could give people directions up the mountain from 8 major US cities in 5 different languages (well, I lie. Mostly I would just transfer calls that I didn't want to stop reading my magazine to deal with)
Big Bear Hair Works; Big Bear; Appointment girl: Never paid for a hair cut while I worked there.
O Koo Ran; Big Bear: Sales Associate. I still get my employee discount when I go home.
Olive Garden; Coeur D'Alene: Hostess with the Mostess. I can still remember the order of the songs on that damn Italian c.d. "When the moon Hits Your Eyes...Blah Blah.."
Red Cross; Portland: Blood Pimp. I would call people and ask them for their blood. VAMPIRE.
Bath and Body Works; Las Vegas: Lotion specialist. Hated It.
The Gap: Las Vegas: Retail Slave. I would have Jean Wall Nightmares at night. Think Vikki from Reality Bites.
AppleBees; Las Vegas: Server. A.K.A CrappleBees
Wow, that was painful. In my defense I was working a lot of those jobs at the same time. And I've never been fired. And if I were to go into ANY of those places, I'd get rehired. Why, you ask.? Because I'm charming...Truly a jerk of all trades.
3 comments:
pine summit truly is your mistress and i do feel that you cheat on me with that hussy of a camp (and "the pine summits"). i swear, if you go back to them again it's over. i mean it this time.
also, since you mentioned blue skies i should tell you that i saw mr. steel yesterday and he wants his medal back-a
thats a damn fine resume rose. when you have that you work at blue skies on a resume then you are assured to get hired anywhere. god bless the good ole dixie!
p.s. i found some gnomes in the ground at a local house and figured it wouldnt be that hard of a job for rosie to still them. only if they are not anchored down. i love you , nadia
you know that is funny. i just made a list of all of the jr. colleges tha i've dropped out of and it was just about that length.
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