30:

She says I'm stunning.
I just feel stunned.
Stunned at the wirey grey hairs appearing in my bangs.
Stunned my hands are looking more and more like my moms.
Stunned at where life has me wandering.
I can feel this 30 year old self confidence reverberating in my bones, trying to make its way out.
Truth is I still get that anxious sweaty look in crowds.
Truth is I still blush with shyness daily.
This is the shadowlands of adulthood.

My birthday is looming. My 30 year old resolution is to write one thing everyday the entire year. I hope you are all well. My almost 30 year old self hurts inside at missing you everyday. Some things will never change, but most things do.