Weird

Today I signed Divorce Papers...as a witness. When I was first asked if I could do it I was taken back. Lots of things flooded my head. Was I supposed to take a moral stance? Did my participation in the process mean I am saying I agree with absolving a union such as marriage?...And then, as if it was a voice from above, this sentence struck in my heart, "You are called to love." And that was enough for me. I have a friend, who asked for help...and I AM CALLED TO LOVE. That is all. I'm not sure how my sentence would stand up with the theology of my ascribed faith. But that sentence seems, to me, a pretty steady rudder for a life lived in service to our Lord. I still do not have complete assurance about my decision, but I do know I love my friend, and I know I am called to love.

With all that said, let me say being a grown up is blurred. I wish it wasn't, maybe it really isn't, but rather I am still in my gestation. I don't know but I do know, walking into the "Do-It-Yourself-Legal-Forms" place today I was struck with my overall naivety about life. In Vegas, you can sign your divorce papers, pick up your mail, and get a spare key made at the same place. They also sold greeting cards...ironically anniversary cards. I gave way to a nervous laugh and said to the clerk, "Ironic, anniversary cards..." and kind of trailed off. He didn't seem amused with my observation. There is no reverence or sacredness left in this city. I get so nervous at times that I will leave here in a few years having lost all my innocence, reverence, and faith. But then I remember a sermon I heard once about how those things (and grace included) don't count for much unless they've faced adversity. And Vegas is one big fat adversity to all of those virtues. Anyway, that's all I got. If you could remember my friend and her two children in your prayers.

We can love. We can pray.