Waxing Nostalgia

As I mentioned in my previous post I had a chance to go to Big Bear on Tuesday. We all ended the evening in usual fashion, playing cards at The Pools house, it felt as it has always felt. Perfect. That night when I got to the house I was walking up the steps to the front door and I paused and felt a rush of emotion, knowing I would not walk up those step to many more times, because they are moving. That house became part of my life when I was 16, I cannot even believe it has been 10 years.
The Pools house and the church were the first consistent things in my life. As I have said before I was raised by a recovering gypsy/hippie/alcoholic/drug addict, who lived out many of her greatest mistakes during my childhood. This is not a woe-is-me post, I assure you in retrospect I would not have had it any other way, because I think it has instilled a good deal of perspective in me. Not to mention no matter how messy life was I always knew my mother loved me, she is an extremely loving human being. But this life style did not provide stability, we moved so much I often remember, even as a young child, asking my mom, "should we even unpack these?", over a pile of boxes. When we moved to Big Bear and she began to clean up the reckage of our lives I remember my greatest fear was that she would want to move again, because finally I had found a place that felt like home. Her foot would begin itching and she would pick up the "For Rent" section in the paper and my heart would drop. Joey and I managed to keep her in Big Bear for 5 years, in those 5 years we lived in 6 different houses, but it was a compromise we were fine with.
All this to say, the Pool's house is my one true touchstone. It is one of the few tangible memories I have of my past. It holds so many memories I could not really do them justice with words.
And on Tuesday night as I walked up those familiar steps I felt the emotions of ALL those memories, it took my breath away for a moment. I have felt both sorrow and joy in those walls. And today I ran across a quote by Nelson Mandela in my Bartlett's that says, "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchaged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." And that is what turning onto Comstock is for me, it is when I realize who I am the most. It is a keen reality check every time I walk into that door. That house is a very true place for me. So this is a post dedicated to that house, and to all the things and people and experiences I have acquired there.