Remembering

God gave me today for a specific purpose. Those of you close to me how much I've struggled with my decision to be here in Vegas, to continue to pursue nursing and finishing school. You know from my entries and my late night frustrated phone calls how tired I've become. Mentally, physically, and spiritually...Tired. The truth is I lost sight of why I am doing this. Why I'm in a city I hate, why I'm working my ass off to pay for school and life expenses, why I'm putting up with a semi-uncomfortable living situation, and why I'm pulling all-nighters required of a full load of difficult classes. I forgot why all of this was important to me. Today God jolted me into remembering. We are coming up to the 20th anniversary of Chernobyl. For those of you unfamiliar with it go tohttp://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060426111709990001&cid=2249 . It was a pretty informative article. Basically, it involved a nuclear waste issue that infected a whole sphere of people in the former Soviet Union, now the children of these people have become orphaned and are living with unbelievable birth defects. I saw a pictorial spread on the Chernobyl orphans this morning. The images made me feel sick to my stomach. Then Oprah did a special today about the Invisible Children campaign in Africa, I just happened to walk in the door during the show. Every time I am faced with these stories of poverty and sickness I am brought to tears, literally.

I have become a cynical bastard over the last few years, but I am so surprised at the acute sensitivity I still have towards the poor, sick, and forgotten. That makes all my trivial complaints worth it. Because one day soon I will be able to help those that have been forgotten. I promise I am not trying to be altruistic or "Buddha on the mountain Top"...this just IS what I was made for. I needed to be reminded that I am not becoming a nurse only for myself, but for the benefit of others as well, that makes the burden seem incredibly light and bearable.